Quad-strand shiny wallet chains with girth

(think: Leopard-skin pillbox hat song lyrics by Bob Dylan)

The wallet chain action here at the Geezer Hotel is off the hook

Note: Wallet chains in this photo do not come close to the strands these Latino Lotharios are toting on their waistlines. The chains worn around here are thick enough to double as a tow line for so many oft-stalled junkers.

I see you got your quad-strand shiny wallet chains with girth
new-fangled and jangling to show the chicas what you’re worth
are those fat fierce links masking some sense of private dearth
or are you simply playing macho caballero to spark my mirth?

You must tell me how hefty is all that chrome upon your thigh
will it be worth my time after all your flash-bang snags my eye
do clanging chains suggest hard alloys sequestered nearby
does your drape of heavy metal satisfy more than a gadfly?

You know so many strands rattle your getup like a goon
your metallic garb is not a suavecito statement for a swoon
as much as I’d like to give your matador cachet the lampoon
it’s clear the senoritas can’t resist this chain-trussed buffoon.